Family will always be there for you
by ncistivafanforever
Summary: How "SHE" should have ended. When Ellie entered the office again she found something she never expected to find. (TIVA)
1. Teaser

After leaving the hospital Ellie went back to Zivas safe house to put the notebook back in its old place.

She wished that she would have met Ziva so that she could learn from her.

Ellie hated it that the team rearly spoke about Ziva in front of her. She kinda looked up to Zuva even though she never met her.

She wanted to find out more about Ziva so she thought about reading the other notebooks but she also thought that it would invade Zivas privacy.

When she finally pareked her car and made her was over to the small dafe house she noticed that not only the porch light was turned on but also the light inside the house.

Ellie noticed that the lock was pocked and she could hear a painful hiss from inside so she took her gun while she opened the door for her own safety.

After opening the door Ellie couldn't belive what she saw...

**This is just a little teaser for the story to see if you guys are interested. This is how I wanted the episode to end. I quickly tiped it on my phone. Sorry if there are any mistakes.**

**Please review and let me know if I should continue. **


	2. Chapter 1

**A few hours earlier**

Ziva was on her way to her office to get her weapons when she saw that her landlady was talking with someone while walking over to her office. Ziva hid in a bush to find out who the person was. When she finally saw the women she realized that she was one of Gibbs agents.  
She wondered what she was doing here so she decided to find out what special agent Bishop was doing here.  
After a while Ziva could hear other persons voices. Voices she knew. Ziva was about to step out of the bushes to see Gibbs and McGee and to ask Gibbs for help but she couldn't. It was to dangerous. They could die.

She had to clean up her own mess,

screw rule 28. Somebody is out to get her and she had to follow rule number 44 and hide Tali to keep her safe even if it broke her hart to leave her child. It still hurts her everyday. She hates it that she is not able to see her daughter everyday, to see her grow up, to tell her how much she is loved. But she had to clean up her own mess. Well Elis mess you could say.

Ziva waited until they where gone before she entered her office to get her weapons. Luckily Gibbs left them there as if he knew she was still alive and needed them. She took a look at the picture of herself and her brother and sister that survived so much. She had tears in her eyes and a sad smile on her face when she thought back to the time both where still alive. 

It was all Elis fault. Talis death and that she couldn't be with her family. If he wouldn't have screwed up a mission when he was just an Mossad officer everything would be fine now. Tali would probably still be alive and she could be with Tony and Tali and the Team. But she had to end what stated all those years ago to be able to be back with her family again. If they still wanted her back.  
But she also had to be careful, that Ellie wouldn't find out that she was still alive.

Ziva left her office and closed the door. Without looking back she disappeared in the dark.

**Now**

Ziva knew she had to act quickly. She had to get the bullet out of her tight. She was bleeding pretty badly and walking was hard for her. She was on her way to her office. The only place she thought she might be safe to rest and stitch herself up.  
When she entered the office she forgot to turn the porch light of but she didn't care. She couldn't walk one meter anymore. She sank down next to the bad and hissed. Her leg hurt like hell. Ziva crawled to her desk where she kept a first aid kit.  
She knew she had to take the bullet out which would be very painful.

Ziva saw her scarf and took it and threw it over to the bed where she planned to take the bullet out. With the first aid kid tugged under her arm she made her way back to the bad and sat down.

She needed a minute to breathe.  
After some deep breaths she took her knife and cut the scarf in two parts. One part she used as a compression and the other half she put in her mouth so nobody could hear her.

With shaking hands Ziva took a small knife out of the first aid kid which she was going to use for the bullet. _You can do this Ziva. You did it before. Come on and don't pass out _she thought.

Just in the moment when she was taking the bullet out of her tight she heard someone entering the office. Ziva looked up and indistinctly dropped the knife and took her gun into her and aimed it in the direction of the door.

The last thing Ziva saw before passing out was special agent Bishop.

After opening the door Ellie couldn't believe what she saw. It was Ziva.

The women who everybody thought was dead. Ellie immediately put her gun down just like Ziva did. _She must know me _thought Ellie before realizing that Zivas eyes where closed and her head was hanging to the side.

Ellie entered the office and went over to Ziva to see what was wrong with her. When she scanned her with her eyes she saw that Ziva was bleeding. A lot. She took her phone out of her pocket and called Gibbs while putting pressure on the wound with the other one.

"Gibbs" she could hear her boss voice through the phone.

"Gibbs you have to come to Zivas office..."

"Didn't I tell you something Bishop" interrupted Gibbs his agent angry.

"Yes… but….. listen...it is important Gibbs. It's Ziva."

"What do you want Bishop?" asked Gibbs.

"She.. she's alive. She's here and she is bleeding. I think she was shot. She is passed out."

"I am on my way. Stay with her and do not call an ambulance."

"Got it boss."

Then the line went dead.

Gibbs couldn't believe what Bishop just told him. His Ziver alive? What trouble was she in now?

"Get Ducky Tim. We have to go NOW" said Gibbs while standing up from his desk.

Tim did not ask a question and went to the stairs to get Ducky.

"And tell Duck to take his first aid kid. Go" he shouted after the younger agent.

Gibbs met Tim and Ducky at the car and drove Ziva style to the office of his former agent.

"Tell me what happened Jethro" said Ducky.

"You'll see Duck" answered Gibbs.

When they arrived at the office they made their way over to it and entered the small cabin. When McGee and Ducky looked over to Ellie they couldn't believe their eyes.

"I found her like that Gibbs" said Ellie. "I don't know what happened or where she was coming from. She was already lying here when I arrived. She fell unconscious before I called you."

"Let Ducky do his work" said Gibbs looking at Ziva.

"How is she Duck?"

"I can feel a pulse Jethro but it is weak. We have to take her to a hospital."

"We can't Duck. It's a gut feeling."

"But then Ziva might die Jethro."

"You have to stitch her up Duck."

"But I am not a doctor Gibbs I am a pathologist I work with the dead not the living and I need other instruments to..."

"Ducky just stop the bleeding we will take her back to NCIS and you can stitch her up there. Ziva would have gone to a hospital after taking the bullet out if it would have been safe. But she is here."

"Of cause Jethro. I will do everything I can do for our friend" said Ducky trusting Gibbs.

"I can't believe that she is still alive" said McGee.

"Ziver is always full of surprises Tim."

Ducky did everything he could before Gibbs carried her to their car and they drove back to NCIS.

"We have a patient Mr Palmer. But it is a living one this time." said Ducky when they entered Autopsy.

"What?" asked Jimmy confused but when he saw Ziva in Gibbs arm he was happy to see his friend again.

"Ziva" he said.

"Now Mr Palmer."

"Of cause doctor." he said and got everything ready so that they could help Ziva.

"What happened?" asked Jimmy.

"Don't know" said Gibbs.

"Ziva lost a great amount of blood Jethro we need a transfusion otherwise she will die." said Ducky.

"We have the same blood type" replied McGee. "Take mine"

After what felt like hours to Gibbs they where finally finished and Ziva was stable.

**4 hours later**

After taking Ziva to Gibbs place and putting her down on the sofa Tim called Abby who immediately drove to Gibbs to see her best friend.

He also called Tony but didn't tell him that Ziva was still alive. He just told him that he had to come back to the US because it was important. Tony booked the next flight for himself and his daughter and informed McGee that they would arrive the following afternoon.

Gibbs did not leave Zivas side and sat down in the armchair next to the sofa. He watched the sleeping former agent and wondered what had happened that she had to leave her daughter and made everyone believe that the died.

Ziva opened her eyes and was alerted. Where was she? She wasn't in her office anymore. She looked around. Slowly she began to realize where she was.

"Gibbs" she said when she saw him sitting in the armchair next to where she was lying on his couch.

"You've got some explaining to do David" said Gibbs when Ziva looked at him.

**End of chapter one. I hope you liked it. Please let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all those reviews I am really happy that you like my story.**

**Ziva opened her eyes and was alerted. Where was she? She wasn't in her office anymore. She looked around. Slowly she began to realize where she was.**

"**Gibbs" she said when she saw him sitting in the armchair next to where she was lying on his couch. **

"**You've got some explaining to do David" said Gibbs when Ziva looked at him.**

"I guess I have" answered Ziva while she was trying to sit up. She got a little dizzy but tried it again.

"Woah slow down Ziver you just had a bullet removed from your tight" said Gibbs while he was gently pushing her back down on her shoulders.

"I can't rest Gibbs. I have to go. Rule 40" said Ziva. She was still trying to get up but Gibbs wouldn't let her go.

"You are save now David. We are in no matter what it is."

"You have no idea Gibbs. This is my families mess. I have to do that on my own. I have to keep you save. All of you."

"Talk Ziver I won't let you go."

"Stop being so stubborn Gibbs you have to let me go" said Ziva. It was the second time that she called her ex boss stubborn. She was the only one getting away with it.

Ziva did not realize that the rest of the team except Tony and their daughter had been gathered around the couch now.

"Ziva" said Abby not being able to stay still anymore.

Ziva looked away from Gibbs and focused on the other people in the room.

"Hello" she said with a small smile on her face.

"It is nice to see all of you again but I have to..."

"Did you forget who you can trust Ziver?"asked Gibbs. His voice started to become louder because he was frustrated that Ziva doesn't seem to trust them anymore.

"I did not Gibbs" said Ziva. "But YOU should know best that there are things you have to do on your own. I don't want to see ANY other person of my family die because of my fathers mistakes. I have to..."

"Rule 51 David" interrupted Gibbs calmly.

"You don't understand. They have to think that I am dead otherwise none of you will be safe." she argued.

"So it is better to let your daughter think that her mother is dead instead of taking the help we offer you?" he asked her knowing that he hit a spot when she jumped up angrily.

"You don't bring Tali into this. SHE is the reason while I am doing this. I try everything to keep her safe and if it means that I can't be with her… After they blew up my house.."

"Kort is dead Ziva. He can't harm her anymore."

"This goes way deeper Gibbs."

"Then tell me."

"Gibbs I..."

"You once told me the meaning of mishpacha David. Should I tell it to you now? It looks like you have forgotten everything I told you. Don't waste the time you have with your daughter kid. I know best that the time is limited."

Ziva started to realize that it was useless to discuss with Gibbs. He was right he lost his daughter. Ziva still had the chance to be with her daughter. She had to tell them. She sat back down on the couch and started talking.

"Alright. I will tell you but I will need some files from my office" said Ziva.

"I have everything here in the basement" said Gibbs.

Ziva nodded and stood up and wanted to go downstairs.

"I would not recommend you to walk that much my dear" said Ducky. "I am afraid that your stitches might not withstand the pressure."

"It's ok Duck. I've had worse" said Ziva smiling at her old friend.

"I'll come with you" said Gibbs afraid that she might wanted to escape through the basement windows.

"How are they?" asked Ziva Gibbs when they where alone in the basement.

"They are fine. On their way to my house. McGee called them." he told her knowing that she wanted to know how Tony and Tali where.

"That was a mistake Gibbs. I do not only have nothing but death in my heart but I also bring nothing but death to my family. Like I said those who get to close always end up dead."

"That's not true Ziver and you know that."

"We where there you know. On the day Kort… Orli called my about a leak in Mossad. Something about an old case and that we have to go into hiding. I got our go backs and took Tali. We where about to drive away when Tali ran back to the house because she wanted to get a picture of all of us that she loved. I ran after her grabbed her and ran back to the car when the house was blown up. I've never been that scared in my life. That was the moment I knew my daughter was not safe with me. Do you think that I don't miss her? That I don't regret not being with my family?" she asked him with tears in her eyes.

"I know Ziver. I know" said Gibbs to her giving her a small hug and a kiss on her forehead which made her smile.

Ziva made her way over to the files which had been put in the corner of the basement by Gibbs because he had an almost finished boat standing in the middle of it.  
"I still wonder how you are getting those out of your basement Gibbs"

"Maybe I will tell you one day" he told her smiling. He knew that Ziva was slowly letting her guard down again. She was safe again.

When Ziva found the files they joined the rest of the team again and Ziva told them everything.

"It all started with a missions Eli had. He had to take down the leader of a small cell that was responsible for the death of 10 Israeli citizens. The name of the man was Abit Kazim. Something went wrong and Eli accidentally killed his youngest son. I was around 10 when it happened and Tali and I were living with our mother. The man wanted revenge but he did not know who the man responsible for his sons death was. When he found that it had been my father who killed his son he wanted him to feel the same pain. Ari was already his mole and I was on a mission in Cairo with Jenny. Eli who had already been the deputy director by then was not at home very often so Tali could do what she wanted. She was on her way to the opera with a friend when she was killed. Of cause Ari and I wanted revenge and we found out who the man was that killed our sister so we killed him. But we didn't know that he had two other sons. It took us almost 2 years until we found him. A year later I joined NCIS and you know the rest. Orli informed me about a leak in Mossad only a few days after Tony left Israel. I found my fathers old files and studied them because they where relevant to the leak. Apparently Eli knew the names of the two sons that where still alive. It turned out that one of them was responsible for my mothers death. When he sent me on that mission in Somalia to kill that man I didn't know that he was responsible for her death. Guess he didn't want me to know that she and my sister died because of his actions.  
Eli thought that everything was over because the third son was assumed to be dead. But he is not. He was the leak and when I found out that I was pregnant I knew that he would be after her. That's why I used the explosion to make him think that I am dead because I knew that he would loose interest in Tali. Orli helped me to fake my death and sent Tali to Tony. Now that his son Obit Kazim is thinking that I am dead I knew that I had to end everything once and for-all. I found out that he is operating on American soil at the moment. Here are the files and everything I found out about him."

"And Gibbs" she added.

"Yes?"

"Could you do me a favor? Someone has to get something from the bank for me."

"What?" he asked.

"There is a deposit box at the bank. It is on my name. There is something I it that I will need. It might help us. But I can't walk into the bank when I am supposed to be dead. Anyone from our team can get it."

"I'll do it. When I arrive there the bank will open for the day." said Ellie to Ziva and Gibbs mentioned her to go now.

"We've got your back Ziver" said Gibbs to her as he took the files to go through them. "McGee" he said. Tim followed Gibbs into the kitchen where they started to read the files.

"We should go back to NCIS" said Ducky because he knew that they had to pretend like nothing happened. "We will see you soon Ziva" he said as he and Palmer left Gibbs house.

Abby and Ziva were alone now so she sat down next to her friend. Understanding Zivas actions Abby was not angry with her. Well at least not as much as she was before Ziva told her story.

"How are you?" she asked Ziva.

"I am fine Abby. At least I will be. I understand if you hate me now. After everything I have done to you guys."

"I could never hate you Ziva. I was angry at first but I understand what you did. You just wanted to keep you family and your beautiful and cute daughter safe. You acted like Gibbs would. I know that he won't admit it if we would ask him but you are just as stubborn as he is."

"Thank you Abby" sad Ziva with a smile on her face. Abby always had her way to make everyone on the team happy.

"I thought that there was no other way..."

"There is always another way Ziv. At least with Gibbs."

"When will Tony and Tali arrive?"

"McGee will pick them up in the afternoon."

The two kept on talking to each other until Ellie was back with the content of Zivas deposit box.

"I am back. Here is the content of your deposit box Ziva" said Ellie.

"Thank you. Gibbs I will need a knife." she said.

Gibbs didn't ask why Ziva needed a knife he just handed her the one she had with her the night before. There was a small bag that contained some fake passports from her time at Mossad and diamonds if she needed money. The other thing was a box made of steel which was locked. The lock could not be picked you needed a key for it. Ziva took the knife into her right hand after putting the box onto her lab.

"Ari gave me this box a few months before his death. He told me that I should only open it when it's about live or death. When there is no other way."

"It looks like you need a key for it" said Abby.

"After he gave me the box I put the key where no one would find it except me" continued Ziva as she put the tip of the knife onto the skin of her left arm.

"What are you doing?" asked Ellie.

"I am getting the key. I hid it in my arm. I didn't want Eli to find out about it."

Ziva cut herself in the arm and put the knife away when she knew that the cut was deep enough to get the key. She got the key out of her arm and took the bandage that Gibbs had already in his hand when he saw what she was about to do. After bandaging her arm Ziva took the key and opened the box.

There was not much in the box. Just a letter, a picture, a small bag with diamonds and a paper smaller box with a small post it on it. The smaller box had a combination lock on it.

"Great how do we get that box open now?" asked Tim "Please don't say that you have the combination in your other arm Zi."

"No I don't McGee" Ziva said grinning. "The post it tells us the combination."

"But those are no letters" said Abby.

"It is a code we used as kids to communicate without letting Eli know what we where talking about. We also used it when we where in danger. I am the only person alive who still knows that code."

Ziva was able to unlock the box. Inside was a key and another post it with a code written on it.

"What does this mean?" asked Gibbs.

"It is the key to a safe house." said Ziva.

"No one knows about it. Not even me."

"We can hide you and Tali there" said Gibbs.

"I think we can" said Ziva.

**End of chapter 2 I hope you liked it. Guess Tony and Tali will be there soon. How will they react to see Ziva? Especially Tony?**


	4. Chapter 3

**Ziva was able to unlock the box. Inside was a key and another post it with a code written on it.  
"What does this mean?" asked Gibbs.  
"It is the key to a safe house." said Ziva.  
"No one knows about it. Not even me."  
"We can hide you and Tali there" said Gibbs.  
"I think we can" said Ziva. **

"Apparently Ari bought a house on one of his missions and never told anybody about it. When no one knows about the house besides us…. Ari has always been full of surprises. It is like he knew that I would need a place to hide someday."

"Life is full of surprises Ziver" said Gibbs.

Just after they discovered what Ari had left behind Bishop came back with breakfast.  
"I've got some food" she said. "Thought we need a little refreshment"

When she gave a breakfast burrito to Ziva and one to Gibbs Ziva put away hers saying:"I am not hungry but thank you."

"Eat" said Gibbs giving her the typical Gibbs glare. He always gave it to her when she was stubborn. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't.

"Gibbs I am not hungry"

"When was the last time you ate properly?"

"Gibbs I am old enough to know weather I need to eat or not."

"Ziver"

Ziva rolled her eyes knowing Gibbs wouldn't give up. In fact she was hungry but she thought that there was no time to just sit around and eat when her family was in danger.

"You can't do anything at the moment so eat at least."

"Fine" she said with a frustrated undertone which made Gibbs grin a little bit while he was shaking his had. After everyone has eaten it was time for Tim to drive to the airport to pick up Tony and Tali.

When Tim arrived at the airport he could already see Tony and Tali waiting for him in the arrival hall.

"There you are McLate. Our plane laneded 20 minutes ago."

"It's also nice to see you Tony" said McGee.

"Uncle McGoo" said Tali with a grin on her face. She let go of her fathers hand and went over to the younger man.

"And it is nice to see you Tali. Wow you grew a lot since the last time I saw you" he said giving the young girl a hug.

"Abba and I went back to Israel" said Tali.

"Really? What did you do? Did you have fun?" asked Tim the little girl while they where walking towards his car.

"Yes. We visited Schmiel and he told me stories about my Ima when she was my age. I love it when he tells me about Ima. I miss Ima but I know that she will come back."

Meanwhile they where already in the car and on their way back to Gibbs. Tony decided to change the subject because it was to painful for him to tell his little princess that her mother would never come back.

"What is so important that we had to come McGee? Is Gibbs going to get married again?"

"No he is not Tony. It's. Just wait and you will see soon enough."

For once Tony listed to his friend and stopped asking. Tim wouldn't tell him anything anyway. Maybe he also stopped asking because he was tired and hungry. The food on the plane was disgusting and there was a huge line at the bakery so they couldn't get anything there.

"Can we stop to get some breakfast on our way McGee?"he asked.

"I am hungry" said Tali. "Can we make some pancakes Abba? Please?"

"I can make some with you when we arrive at Gibbs house Tali" said Tim.

"We are going to see Saba Gibbs?" asked Tali grinning.

"Yes we are Tali"

"Yaayy I have to tell him about our trip and about Schmiel. Abba can I tell him our surprise?"

"Of cause you can Munchkin" said Tony to his daughter.

"Which surprise?" asked Tim.

"Can I tell? Can I?"

"Go an Tals"

"Abba and I are moving back to DC because I will go to school here."

"Is that so?" asked Tim. "You will go to school soon? Wow. Are you excited?"

"Yes I am" answered Tali smiling like always.

"I am glad that you guys are coming back home Tony."

"Thank you Tim" said Tony.

5 minutes later they arrived at Gibbs house and Tali couldn't wait to see her grandfather.  
As soon as her Abba unbuckled her seat belt Tali jumped out of the car and ran to the front door. She opened the door and ran inside the house.

"Saba" she said when she saw her grandfather standing in front of her.

"Hello there little one" said Gibbs with a smile on his face while he lifted her up in the air.  
When Ziva heard her daughters voice she sat up and turned her head around to see Tali in Gibbs arms.  
When they made eye contact for the first time in years Tali let go of Gibbs and ran towards her mother with tears in her eyes while she was screaming for her.

"Ima" she screamed. "Ima".

Finally she felt her mothers arms around her and it felt good. She missed her mother a lot. Her hugs, her voice, her kisses and her smell. Her Ima always smelled like flowers and she had a beautiful voice. Tali loved it when she was telling her stories or when she was singing a song for her.

"You are here" she said with tears in her eyes when she looked into her mothers face.

"I missed you Ima." she said burying her head into her mothers neck.

"I missed you to Tataleh. Look at you. You are so big now and so beautiful."

"What happened to your arm Ima?" asked Tali when she saw that her mother had a small bandage around her arm.

"Oh it's nothing Tals. Ima had a little accident but everything is ok now. Saba helped me."

"Did you see Sabas boat?" she asked her mother.

"Yes I have. It is cool right?"

"Yes it is. Saba promised me that he would go sailing with me when he finished building it."

"He did?" asked Ziva with a smile on her face.

Tali nodded. "I have soooo much to tell you Ima. I have to tell you everything Abba and I did." the small girl said excited.

"I can't wait for you to tell me" said Ziva while she kissed her daughters forehead.

"Where is your Abba?" she asked.

"He was right behind me" said Tali.

"Ima look what Abba gave me. He said it was yours" said Tali showing Ziva her star of David necklace.

"It looks very beautiful on you Tataleh" said Ziva.

Just in that moment she could feel that something was different. That somebody entered the room. And she exactly knew who it was. She missed that feeling she had when this person entered the room. It was n other than Anthony D DiNozzo Junior.

When Tony saw Ziva and Tali he froze. This could not be true. Was his mind playing him tricks. Was he completely crazy now. This couldn't be his Ziva. Ziva was dead. Was she? They never identified the body they found in the house as hers. But why would Ziva leave Tali behind? Why would she let her daughter think that her mother died. Well Tali never really thought that her Ima died. Tali always told him that her Ima would be coming back to them. Maybe Tali knew something he did not?

"Ziva" he said. It was not more than a whisper but everyone could hear him. He was starring at his former partner, the mother of his daughter and when Ziva turned around to face him she was still as beautiful as she has been the last time he saw her.

She gave him one of her special small smiles. "Tony" she said. It was also no more than a whisper.

Tali broke the silence when she said: "See Abba. I told you that Ima would come back."  
Again the young girl hugged her mother as strong as she could while her head rested on her mothers shoulder. Tony could see Ziva also hugged her daughter burying her head in her curls. Ziva was whispering something to Tali in Hebrew which made the little girl smile. Tali also said something in Hebrew and Ziva gave her a cheek kiss.

No one wanted to disturb that sweet little moment between mother and daughter but Gibbs knew that Tony and Ziva had to talk so he said to Tali: "Hey Tals are you hungry? We can make some pancakes for you Ima and Abba if you want. I heard you wanted some."

Tali did not really want to leave her mothers side but she was also very very hungry. She looked at her mother silently asking her for permission.

"It's ok Tataleh I am not going anywhere. I'd love to have some of your pancakes"

tali gave her mother on last hug and a big kiss on the cheek before she left her side to take her Sabas big hand in hers leading the way to the kitchen. Everyone else joined Gibbs and Tali in the kitchen because they did not want to disturb Tony and Ziva.

"It's really me Tony" Ziva said to him. Tony was still just standing in the middle of the room starring at her like he'd seen a ghost.

"Why don't you take a seat so we can talk?" she asked him.

Tony was still to shocked to say anything but his feet did what she asked him to do. When he was siting next to her on the couch he had the urge to touch her. To make sure that it was really her and not a dream. He took her small hand in his which made Ziva smile.  
When she did not disappear like she did when he was dreaming Tony knew that she was real. That his Ziva was alive.

**Thank you all for your reviews they made me really happy.  
I hope you liked the chapter. The next chapter will be here tomorrow so you don't have to wait that long for Tony and Zivas conversation. It took me a while to figure out what they would say to each other after everything that happened but last night around one I had a flash of inspiration. So look out for the next chapter. Please let me know what you thought about this chapter. In the next chapter you will find out why Ziva was not able to change like she wanted when she left her old live behind. **


	5. Chapter 4

**Tony was still to shocked to say anything but his feet did what she asked him to do. When he was siting next to her on the couch he had the urge to touch her. To make sure that it was really her and not a dream. He took her small hand in his which made Ziva smile.  
When she did not disappear like she did when he was dreaming Tony knew that she was real. That his Ziva was alive.**

"You're alive" was the only thing he was able to say to her. He still could not believe that she was really sitting right next to him. Tony did not know how to feel. He was happy to see her but he was also angry. He realized how much he missed her and one thing he wanted to do so badly was to take her into his arms, kiss her and never let her go. But how could she hurt him so much and make him believe that she died?

"How? Why?" he asked her still looking at her as she would disappear any second.

"Do you want to hear the long version or the short one?" Ziva asked him knowing that he wanted to know her reasons before he could decide how to feel. Tony was still holding onto her hand and she enjoyed it. She had missed his touch.

"Everything" he said.

"It all started with a missions Eli had. He was only a Mossad officer back then. He had to take down the leader of a small cell that was responsible for the death of 10 Israeli citizens. The name of the man was Abit Kazim. Something went wrong during the mission but I don't know what it was and Eli accidentally killed his youngest son. I was around 10 when it happened and Tali and I were living with our mother because she found out that Eli had an affair with Orli like I told you. Maybe he was not focused because our mother left him just before he had to go on that mission.

The man wanted revenge but he did not know who the man responsible for his sons death was. When he found that it had been my father who killed his son he wanted him to feel the same pain. Ari was already his mole in Hamas and I was on a mission in Cairo with Jenny. Eli who had already been the deputy director by then was not at home very often so Tali could do what she wanted. She was on her way to the opera with a friend when she was killed.  
Of cause Ari and I wanted revenge and we found out who the man was that killed our sister so we killed him. But we didn't know that he had two other sons. It took us almost 2 years until we found him. A year later I joined NCIS and you know the rest.  
Orli informed me about a leak in Mossad only a few days after you left Israel. I wanted to go back home. Back home to you but it was not save. I found my fathers old files and studied them because they where relevant to the leak. Apparently Eli knew the names of the two sons that where still alive. He was tracking them. It turned out that one of them was responsible for my mothers death.  
When he sent me on that mission in Somalia to ... I didn't know that he was responsible for her death. Guess he didn't want me to know that she and my sister died because of his actions.  
Eli thought that everything was over because the third son was assumed to be dead. But he is not. He was the leak. And when I found out that I was pregnant with Tali I knew that he would be after her.  
That's why I used the explosion to make him think that I am dead because I knew that he would loose interest in Tali. Orli helped me to fake my death and sent Tali to you. Now that his son Obit Kazim is thinking that I am dead I knew that I had to end everything once and for-all. I found out that he is operating on American soil at the moment." she told him with tears in her eyes. Ziva did not know why but it was harder to talk about everything with Tony than with the rest of their family. Maybe because she felt guilty that she had stolen him the first years of their daughters live?

Tony had to think about everything she had told him. He was still holding her hand in his when he asked her: "Why didn't you come to me? I could have helped you."

"It would have been to dangerous you could have been killed." she said while she was shaking her head. Why can't he understand? She asked herself.

"You know that I am fighting for you Ziva. You know that I will always have your back"

"It would have been suicide Tony!"

"And what about you?" he asked her looking her directly into the eyes. Ziva lowered her head because she could not look him into the eyes.

"It is what it is. After everything that had happened..."

"And what about Tali?" he interrupted her knowing that he had hit a spot when she lifted her head. "She should not have to live without her mother just because you are to stubborn..."

"Keep Tali out of it" she snapped. "She is the reason why I am doing this."

"Why didn't you come back? We could have been a family. We..."

"And bring danger and death back to you again? To see you being stupid enough to be caught by a terrorist just because of me? My family… I brought nothing but pain to you"

"That's not true and you know that Ziva. Are you even listening to me?"

"I am listening Tony! But you know what I am talking about!"

"You did not have another choice Zi"

"You do not understand" she said shaking her head again. Tony was getting angry. Why was she always like that? Blaming herself for everything?

"You know what? I really do not understand. The thing is… I know you needed time to change but… I was waiting for you Ziva. I thought that you would come back..."

"You have no idea how hard it was not to come back Tony. How hard it was not to call you and tell you about Tali. But after everything Orli has told me it was easier.."

"There it is. That's the point. It was easier for you. Why do you always take what you think is the easy way? That's not the easy way Ziva. It's the lonely way. Why are you always pushing me… us away? We are your family Ziva. We are here to help. Is that to much?" he asked her.

"You know exactly why I am choosing my way Tony. Those who get to close always end up dead, My mother, Tali, Ari, my father… should I continue?"

"No one from our team is on the list Ziva. Everyone is still here"

"Only because I went away" she whispered.

"I thought you wanted to change" he said while he let go of her hand.

Ziva looked into his eyes when he let go of her hand and she could see that he was feeling the same way she was.

"I tried" she said and was about to hide her face again because she did not want him to see the pain she was feeling. But Tony did not let her. Softly he put his hand on her cheek making her look into his eyes again.

Both enjoyed the feeling of this little gesture. They missed each others touches, each others presence.

"Then try harder" he said softly stroking her cheek while she was leaning into his touch.

"Let the bad stuff behind you Zi. Just try to look forward. Let your past be what it is. Just look around Ziva. You are surrounded of people who love you, who don't judge because of your past. You know that everyone here is always there for you. Isn't that everything you ever wanted? Just open your eyes it's right in front of you. Don't throw it away. We have a wonderful daughter that needs her mother."

"A mother who denied her daughter to be able to be with her father from the day she was born. What kind of a mother am I?"

Tony ignored what she said because he was not finished.

"Just look at Gibbs. I am sure that he will not say it but he loves it be be called grandpa by Tali. Should have seen his face when she called him that for the first time. I know that you told her that he is her grandpa because he is a father to you and you know that you are a daughter to him. You might have lost your biological siblings but you still have McBrother and Abbs and I am pretty sure that Ellie will grow on you soon. You have Ducky that uncle who bores and fascinates everyone with his stories and the Autopsy Gremlin. You can't forget the strange cousin can you?"

For the first time in years Tony could see Ziva smile. He did not call Jimmy the Autopsy Gremlin in a while but he knew that she would laugh at the nicknames for him and for McGee.

"And last but not least.. I mean the best comes last you have Tals and me. I once told you that I could not live without you and it wasn't because of that serum. My heart was speaking back then. I still can't live without my crazy ninja. Without you this family is not complete Zivs. We all need you. I need you"

"How could you still think of me that way Tony? After everything I have done to you?" she asked him taking his other hand in hers. She needed to hold onto him.

"Do you remember when you asked me about soul mates? If I believe in them?  
I avoided your question for a reason Ziva. I avoided it because I knew from the first moment I saw you standing in front of my desk, bluntly asking me if I am having phone sex that you are my soul mate. Maybe I did not know it right away but after a while I realized what the feeling was. I can't be really angry with you because you are a part of me Ziva. You complete me. Sometimes it was hard for me to understand your action yes but through Tali I started to understand. She looks up to me you know. She trusts me blindly. You also had that trust in your father as a child but he used it against you. But without everything that had happened before you met us we wouldn't have met. I would probably still be that idiot I was when we first met. Well I guess I would have less hair from all the Gibbs slaps. I know that you can change because I could do the same thing. I changed because of you. You showed me what the meaning of true love is and you gave me the biggest present a woman can give to a man. You gave me such a beautiful and wonderful daughter. You might not see it but right here, right now you have the chance to change. You can fulfill little Zivas dreams. I know that you always wanted to have a family that no one can take away from you. Well I am not going anywhere." he told her.

This was one of the most truthful conversations they had since they know each other. Ziva could not quite believe what he just told her. She was glad that he still wanted her because she still wanted him.

"Tony… I don't want to push any of you away but every time I think that I can finally be happy. That I can finally be with you my past comes back to haunt."

"We where there Tony. When the bomb…. We where on our way to the car. We could have lost her and it would have been my fault Tony" Ziva told him with tears in her eyes.

"It wasn't your fault Ziva. None of this was. You know what? Maybe you tried your new beginning wrong? In the wrong place?"

"Maybe you are right?" said Ziva smiling at him again.

"Just maybe? Come on sweet cheeks you know that I am always right" he joked and finally he could hear her laughing again.

"Oh Tony" she said shaking her head. "You are unbelievable"

"I thought that I was loved" he said.

"That too" said Ziva while her eyes wandered between his eyes and lips.

**End of the chapter. I hope you liked their conversation. I just felt that Tony would say something like that to his ninja when they were alone after everything they have been through.  
Please review :)**


	6. Chapter 5

**I am sorry that it took me so long to update the story but I was really busy the last few weeks and did not have much time to write. I also had problems with the chapter because I knew what I wanted to write but not how.**

**I hope you like it. **

**"Maybe you are right?" said Ziva smiling at him again.  
"Just maybe? Come on sweet cheeks you know that I am always right" he joked and finally he could hear her laughing again.  
"Oh Tony" she said shaking her head. "You are unbelievable"  
"I thought that I was loved" he said.  
"That too" said Ziva while her eyes wandered between his eyes and lips.**

Meanwhile two nosy agents and Abby where watching Tony and Zivas conversation.

"I really don't think that we should observe them" said Tim.

"Oh come on Timmy it's Tony and Ziva this is going to be so interesting." answered Abby.

"And that's exactly the reason why we shouldn't watch them. You know that Ziva is going to know and that she is going to tell Tony and then he is going to mess with us." he said.

"You are the senior field agent now Tim not Tony don't act like a probie" she replied.

"As long as you don't start lipreading everything will be fine I guess." said Tim while he was shaking his head.

"How is Ziva going to know that we are watching them?" asked Ellie.

"She's a ninja. Well that's what Tony used to say about her. She just knows when someone is watching her." answered Abby.

"I wonder what they are talking about" said Ellie looking at the two former agents sitting on Gibbs couch.

"Ziva is explaining everything to Tony right now." said Abby. "She's telling him the whole story."

"Tony is kinda angry with her" she added. "And now Ziva is angry with him."

"How do you know? The expression on her face did not change" said Ellie.

"It did. It took me years to be able to read her expressions and I am still not an expert. Tony always knows how she feels and Gibbs knows it most of the time. That's the reason why we did not get along when she first started to work with us. I thought that she did not care when Gibbs almost died after an explosion. Only later I found out that she tried to distance herself from her feelings because of Tali."

"What does Tali have to do with it? She wasn't even born then" said Ellie not realizing which Tali Abby meant.

"No not little Tali. Zivas sister. The one Tali was named after. She died in an explosion when she was sixteen."

"Poor Ziva" said Ellie.

"Wait. I remember that case. We where looking for Pin Pin Pula right?" asked Tim. "And you slapped Ziva and then she slapped you back."

"Yes that case" answered Abby.

"But now be quiet I have to concentrate." said Abby. "Now it's like always. Ziva blames herself for everything and Tony is getting frustrated again."

"Look! What is Tony going to do now?" asked Ellie when Tonys hand wandered to Zivas cheek.

"It's Tonys way to cheer her up. He's telling her that whatever she is thinking was her fault isn't." said Abby.

"Can you believe it Timmy? It's just like the old times" said Abby jumping up and down.

"Stop jumping Abby they will hear you" said Tim trying to stop his friend from being to loud.

"But look at them they are… See he made her smile."

"Yes Abby I saw that." said Tim. "As long as they don't start their starring contest" he added.

Just when McGee stopped speaking they started to stare at each other.

"There we go" he said. "At least I can walk away now."

"Tim don't be so mean" said Abby hitting him on the chest.

"Ow that hurt Abby."

"Stop crying Tim" she said.

"You do know that I am a federal agent and that I could arrest you right?"

"Whatever" said Abby.

"Are you sure that they did not hook up before?" asked Ellie.

"Yes" said Abby while Tim said "No".

Ellie was looking at both of them.

"Ziva would have told me." said Abby.

"I don't think so" said Tim. "I am still not sure if they really faked it when they where undercover."

"You are right with that one" said Abby.

"And I don't believe that Tony took the couch in Paris. He would have complained about his back all day" added Tim.

"Wait! Tony did not take the couch in Paris. Ziva did. She did not want to hear him complain about hi back the whole flight." said Abby.

Tim was about to say something when Tali came around the corner with a pancake on a plate.

"Look Saba and I made pancakes" she told the three adults proudly.

"Good job Tali" said Tim.

"I am going to show them to Ima and Abba" she said and walked away.

**Back with Tony and Ziva**

"That's good to know" said Tony. His eyes where also wandering between her eyes and lips.

Their conversation was interrupted by a small person.

"Ima, Abba look" they heard their daughter calling. Tony and Ziva stopped their starring contest and looked to their daughter who was on her way out of the kitchen with a pate in her small hands.

"Look Saba and I made pancakes. You have to try them they are yummy. But the dough is not yummy it needs to be cooked to be yum. Tali was happy and proud of her work and needed to show it to her parents. She started to jump up and down with the plate in her hand forgetting that the pancake was there. While she was jumping up and down like Abby after to many CafPows the pancake fell to the floor. When Tali realized that the pancake fell down she stopped jumping uo and down and looked at the floor. She looked back up again facing her parents.

"Uhoh" she said innocently.

"Slow down little ball of energy" said Tony while he had to fight a laugh and got up. He picked the pancake up and placed it on the plate where it belonged.

"Let's sit down at the table so we can try your delicious looking pancakes tathele." said Ziva while she got up. She forgot about her tight for a moment until she felt the pain and she had to shift her weight. Tali was still standing where she was and Tony brought the pancake back into the kitchen. When Ziva was standing next to Tali she kissed her on the head and Tali smiled at her mother. Together mother and daughter sat down at the table while Tony threw the pancake which landed on the floor away. He came back with a plate full of pancakes and with peanut butter in the other hand. Gibbs followed him with plates and other stuff to put onto the pancaked. The rest of the team was also hungry and Tali and Gibbs made enough pancakes for everyone so everybody sat down at the table to eat.


End file.
